Hello everyone! I hope you’ve had a fantastic Super Bowl Sunday. I’m not a Broncos fan so I wasn’t that happy with the ending, but to be honest I don’t really care that much for foot ball.

Weekly reviews like this one will be how I “grade” my progress. These will be shorter than most posts, but I think that reflection on one’s actions is a vital task when trying to improve. These will be broken down by story and will list what I feel like I need the most work on for the future, but they will also list something that I did well in that story. So without delay…

Kissing Scene 1:

Things I did well:

1. I finished my first post. I have to say that this story was much harder to finish than both parts of Kissing Scene 2 combined. I was really apprehensive about doing it right when I started, for good reason too! I haven’t really used a blank canvas to write a story without a prompt, or structure, or length given to me by a teacher. It was pretty overwhelming, but after finishing my first story I felt more inspired and empowered to write than ever before.
2. After the choppy beginning, I really felt that I found a tempo and writing style that was pretty good. I’m no Shakespeare, but rereading it was much easier than writing it. It could definitely use improvement though.
3. For 1,500 words, the characters were described in an acceptable fashion and I felt that they weren’t the worst characters I had ever created.

 

Things I need to improve on:

1. Dialogue. There were two sentences of dialogue in this piece for good reason. I’m not comfortable at all with dialogue. It’s something that I’ll need to actively improve on, and dialogue was my main focus on Kissing Scene 2.
2. Really choppy beginning. After reading again, my inability to confidently start the story was evident. The sentences were choppy and short, which is not how I like writing.  I like writing sentences, like those written above, that include multiple clauses while being moderate in length. I. Don’t. Like. Choppy.
3. Flow. Some sentences in this story really stick out to me as something that didn’t fit the flow of the paragraph. It would be like walking down a road and then seeing a small boulder in the road. Some ways that I think would help my flow would be to: write an outline of some length and to exclude specific, yet minor, details after writing several paragraphs for one scene. These after thought details feel like after though details when I read it.
4. Write an outline. I had no clue what I was doing when I started writing this story. I thought of the basic plot in my head, picked random names for the characters, and then wrote organically until I decided to end the story. While this was a fun way to write, I feel like it didn’t produce a superior product. I fell like an outline, even a brief one outlining major plot points, would have kept my writing on track and prevented me from “writing in circles.”

Kissing Scene 2

Things I did well:

1. I didn’t finish it. That’s right. I actually believe that not finishing this scene in one day was a good thing. As I was writing it I was still forming the characters and some of the plot, not that the plot is particularly complex. This really slowed me down, because I was having to stop and think of what I wanted to say next. If I had stayed up and continued to write it would have really knocked my enthusiasm down several levels. Sometime’s it’s better to stand up and walk away. The story will be there when you get back to it.
2. Much better start. When you compare this to my Kissing Scene 1 you really see the difference in the length and complexity of the beginning sentences. It seems to flow much better for me. Better flow is always… better.
3. I did a better job on the specific, minor details. I felt like when I introduced something specific, like the smell of Lindsey’s perfume, I took an adequate amount of sentences to describe it. It didn’t seemed forced like some details in the first scene.
4. I made an outline. This outline included the plot from Robert’s arrival to the couple’s departure. It even included biography for Robert and Lindsey. Outlines are my friends… I love outlines…
5. Research. For this story I wanted to put more effort into it. To me that involves increasing detail density with realistic details, and to make sure they were realistic I had to do some research online. Most of the research was just about bistros and the type of food that a person could expect to encounter at one.
6. Dialogue. Wow! I did so much better than I thought I would. As I was writing it I felt that the dialogue seemed to be pretty heavily weighted, but rereading it I didn’t notice any glaring imbalance. Good job Ben!

Things I need to improve on:

1. Word choice. I don’t think that I have a limited lexicon, but in this piece I seemed to pick up several repeated words. I know this is acceptable in some circumstances, but I think repeated words are a symptom of poor sentence structure. It’s something I’ll be looking out for in the future.
2. Limiting myself to third person. I really want to do a first person story, but I didn’t feel confident enough to write it that way.  If you’re uncomfortable doing something, then DO IT ANYWAY!
3. Time management. Hind sight is 20/20. Now that I have finished both part one and part two of this kissing scene it’s quite obvious to me that I wouldn’t have gotten the entire scene finished in one day no matter when I had started. However, at the time I was completely surprised at how long it took me to write the first 1,500 words of the scene. I typically start my blogs at 7 pm or 8 pm and finish them just before midnight. If I want to write any story over 1,700 words it will probably take me 4 to five hours. I should have allotted more time for writing the day that I started this scene. Not leaving myself enough time to write puts me under pressure, and the pressure negatively impacts my writing.

Kissing Scene 2 Continued

Things I did well:

1. I finished. I put this up here for a good reason. After the first part of Kissing Scene 2 I had lots of stuff to do, and every chance I sat down at the computer I tried to find something to do that wasn’t writing. I think this was because I was nervous to finish the second part of this scene. I remember several times thinking about just never bringing up the second scene and just letting die, because I was scared I couldn’t do the first part justice. Eventually I buckled down and forced myself to do it. It was the right move. I think the second half of the scene is the better of the two. It taught me that fear that your future work will be worse than your previous will keep you as a stagnant writer. That’s unacceptable for me.
2. I talked to my characters. When I was writing I really wanted to make this half better than the first, but I was losing steam as the story went on. That was when I made the wonderful mistake of talking to my character, Robert. I’m sure my sisters thought I was just sitting on my bed talking to myself, but I was chatting with Robert like he was an old friend. Eventually I decided that I was going to do my old buddy a favor, and I told him I was going to get him laid. As the writing went on and my hands and back started to get tired I would just look at the screen and say, “I’m gonna get you laid Robert. I gave you my word!” Having an agreement with a character really helped.
3. Dialog content. Since I wrote the dialog I’m worried about bias, but the content of the dialog seems pretty fluid to me. They sound like things that actual people would say in the same situation. You can’t beat that in dialogue right? Hopefully other people agree.
4. Tone change. There is a point in the story where the sexual tension appears to begin to build. I like that I can identify where this happens, but I don’t want it to be an obnoxious transition. I’ll file this one under a win, but I’d like to have my transitions so smooth you never even know they happened. I also like that as you continue on with the story, the tension seems to increase to its… climax!

Things I need to improve on:

1. Word choice. I’m seeing several pairs of adjacent sentences that end with the same two words. This bugs me as described in the points above.
2. Grammar. I’m a fan of the comma, but sometimes I feel like I misuse it. A refresher course in grammar would be of great benefit.
3. Dialogue structure.
4. Plot proof reading. One of the things that I apparently need to work on is proof reading. There was an awkward section in the scene caused by a slight conflict of facts concerning Lindsey’s approval of the surprise wine. It was minor, but it still bugs me. If I had reread the story with the same mindset I have right now I would make several small changes and then be more than proud enough to try and get something of that quality published.
5. The flow of time. I’m on the fence about this, but I feel like the time that occurs in the story might not match up with the time it would take to say the dialogue. I need to think of a way to make sure this doesn’t create large, obvious temporal gaps.